went for countdown & ive watched that movie treasure hunter.
this thing didn't happened on 1st jan 10.
in fact it has always been an issue.
it made me worried & unhappy everyday.
ive had enough of my mom.
way too much for being so ridiculous.
i need my space.
i need someone to be there, to hear me out.
and not just being so unreasonable.
you are always blaming me.
being the eldest really sucks.
she starts being suspicious and questioning me like a lil kid,
like hello what wrong did i do? i'm not involve in fights , i dont smoke, i dont drug.
(perhaps one day when i really turn into a bad girl, she would then realised that i am discipline after all.)
and she stops and weeks later she starts reprimanding me over nothing.
she wont try to understand me.
& you don't know how much pain you've caused which turned me into a pessimist.
how i wish you could read all this which you might think it's all just rubbish.
because she thinks that "cold war" could actually solve the problem.
pardon me for always writing bullshit here. you can exit if you wish to stop reading.
cus its the only space that i can rant, that i can say out my own thoughts.
sometimes i just dont understand what my mom wants from me exactly.
the routine goes on, my mom and dad would take turns to give me stress.
& i dont know why. its like they enjoy doing it in a month's interval.
and people out there are trying to make a remark that children nowadays are being pampered by their parents.
i totally disagree from it.
I dont feel pampered at all.
& I work hard to attain what i want.
but to others, many who don't understand me really well have said that ive been born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
im just here to clarify that im not.
