Hello world,
decided to come here to do some reflection yet again! its prolly the only space whereby i can rant freely and execute my thoughts without any barriers.
this morning i aint feeling well, dizzy spells and i could feel the numbness in my brains.
It lasted for more than 10 mins and i was quite stunned to that prior to the first time feeling that way.
=/ perhaps lately ive been investing much time trying hard in balancing everything else.
calculating my stress and to-do list accumulated this mountain high should be factored in.
I've realised that i'd blend more with people who relates to feelings instead of people who are much more self-centered. Thus maybe its a plus point which adds in favor to understand myself better.
Sometimes I wonder exactly whether im in the wrong to always blame myself for nothing, and think of reasons im wrong in, in every situation, however i cant stop being the kind who like improvisations and im aiming to be a better me.
In some ways, i'd think im walking down the wrong route or realised that im not moving forward or staying stagnant, following the same routine through and thus i'd feel bad being that way, someone please tell me they are facing exact situation and we are of the same kind, cause ive yet to find anyone similiar.
And so, im sick of finding people trying to match my kind, because the more i find, the more i realised im different and the more i felt im weirdo. and i just cant find. oh well.
Tell me if its an issue of growing old.
Sometimes i yearn to feel young again, i wna return back to secondary school days whereby we have a carefree life, thinking about who to befriend and whats after school activities aftermath. and thats all the troubles we have! thou during those times, my schedule is all fully packed as well.
Till then, I hope im in the correct path and someday i'd meet another who mirrors me.
well, im quite a scheduled person, so i'd stick to it and i'd always make sure to follow through.
It gives me the kind of satisfaction whereby i'd be able to complete things efficiently and plans are followed accordingly. I seemingly dont like it to be disrupted and thus there might be people labeling me as not easy-going. Sometimes i ponder if its a bad point and i should start to alter my ways.
However i'd sometimes feel that i need to make myself feel better, cause no one else can make myself happier except myself. so perhaps i dont really need to blame myself for this. cause it got me kinda upset and depressed as it made me lifeless and i dont really have much friends as it seems due to my hectic schedule.
As i believe,
' People who respect your schedule are people who respect your time.
people who respect your time will make time for you.
& the older people gets, the lifestyle gets different for everyone else,
its harder to make time for everyone. So if they'd understand they are meant to be
in your circle of life, because they UNDERSTAND you.
and forgive even if they dont, at least they tried to.'
and prolly i should really start feeling okay...
